“It’s really happening”…


Is what I woke up today under the spell of. It’s like everything fully dawned on me, as this day next week I will be a totally complete and reconfigured man. It is exciting and mind blowing to think about to say the least but also has me very on edge.  I noticed my nerves today are abut higher than average. So I just have been spending today taking time for myself and doing a lot of self reflection. It’s amazing how so much time can go by yet you feel like nothing  but a few days have passed. This journey has been one of vast surprises and I welcome the end of it truly I do. Just this time last year I was wondering how in the hell I was going to do this.  Had a bout of depression but I pull myself out of in the nick of time to straighten back up and get this stuff done.

This whole day so far has been a blur and it’s relevant to the fact this time next week the whole day will be nothing but a big nap. I just really am dreading this nauseous feeling I’m sure I’ll have after not eating and having nothing but pain meds. That’s never a good feeling to have especially considering I usually wake up pretty hungry lol. Hopefully I get one of the nurses that I know.  That would be pretty awesome as we kind of have an established bond. They also know this isn’t my first rodeo so they find it helpful that I can handle certain situations without freaking out. And most of all, hopefully I get to walk before I have the feeling of needing to make a bowel movement.  I am not thrilled about possibly having to go in the bed.  It didn’t work well with hysto I don’t see it going well now lol. Smh the expectations lol.

I sat up earlier thinking about what my leg is going to possibly feel like.  From the texture of it to the tightness and tension I’m sure to feel after surgery for the first month or two.  I’ve heard of some guys being totally fine by week 4 and others not so much. I want to say I’ll be one of those that are fine especially considering how much stress my legs are usually accustomed to as I do alot of cardio. I believe day 4 I’ll be able to test my wings to stand and attempt walking a few steps. I want to take my first shower in the hospital and I’m glad I know that I can.  Hoping that I can get to doing unassisted tasks before I leave the hospital. I do know they can’t kick you out if you’re not ready so I’m taking it day by day.  Not in the least bit interested in rushing myself. I do have to scope out a cane as I know I’m rebellious and like to walk anyway. I feel it’s better to rehab the body by walling no matter what ails me.  In the post op directions it does say begin to walk for 10 then 20 then 30 mins per day and more from there. So I’ll be taking that as literal as I can but of course with due caution lol. I’m going to find a few exercises that will benefit  my legs healing but also my knee as that will most likely be my next major surgery down the line. The time in the bed is going to make me so stiff.  I have to be sure to point that out to the Physical Therapist that comes in to work with me.

I’m just hoping it doesn’t itch like all damn hell smh.  That’s one of the biggest things I hated from meta the hair regrowth itching phenomenon that occurs felt like sharp razor pains. I’m using wishful thinking that after phallo it will not be the same predicament. I asked Katrina (Dr. Crane’s Nurse),  did I need to shave prior to surgery she said no.  Thank goodness,  as the night before surgery with Miro was a grand ol’ mess with me shaving lol. Also I think it’ll give him a better guide so that way he can place incisions where hair will grow back over them. It’ll be nice to have everything more forward so that way there is less friction of leg and ball hair, might start a fire if I run fast enough lmao. And I can not wait for my jock strap to fit correctly. I will most likely have to go up a size but that’s fine by me all to support a greater cause!

And wonderful school is on the horizon yet again.  Definitely a repeat of meta post op. But this time it’ll be something I want and need for myself and no one else.  I was focused on helping the community last time, though I love medical, there are other things I much rather do that are much more beneficial.  Ideally they will lift this military ban and I can go into the service and work in the naval hospital. But until then I would like to pursue something IT as I have a few internships in the area I would like to apply to. I an also looking into picking up a culinary degree here, as I have something brewing in my mind. So lots to do and finally the time and pure undivided focus I need to get my personal goals accomplished. There just comes a time in life where you have to get a little bit selfish I suppose. And now is that time more than ever.  27 is coming up soon (I swear I was just 20) and I’m just ready to get what I need done so the next decade of my life I can spend living the way I want and need. I’d love to finish my worldly explorations and do some religious studies over seas as well.  So the IT and culinary are just the baby steps to other major avenues!

Just basking in everything taking it all in as I should. Amazing things are happening and going to continue to happen Lord willing…

Tomorrow is my very last electrolysis session as well.  Definitely won’t be the last time I see my electrolysist though.  I know me and my OCD having self will need to have at least 6 hours more post op as I want everything smooth. Except around the base a little hair regrowth there is fine it’ll aide in blending.  As the hairs now are really fine at what will be the base. So glad Katrina told me I can take Tylenol as I’m going to ask her to turn the setting up a tad to get a deeper root kill.  Might need a little pain reducer and can’t take ibuprofen or anything else containing aspirin. But I have until my 6th week to start worrying about touch up sessions.  I definitely  want it to be before major sensation comes back that’s not going to be a cute feeling lmao. I don’t see how some guys don’t get all the hair pre op that’s got to be a pain after. More power to you all that have to get extensive work after, ouch… But I’ll end this here and enjoy what’s left of this 6th day until surgery!


Until next time… Another staggered post



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