So today you will be seeing this but keep in mind this post is at the 10 day 14 hour 16 min pre-op countdown marker. I chose to stagger these posts as I prepped to give folks a chance to read as I recuperate. Today I am actually in the OR as you read this……. 

So as of today I have 9 days until my pre op appt with Dr Crane and I go signing my life away on the dotted lines. It’s a liberating feeling yet a bit nerve wrecking as any surgery will be. But even more so as this marks the final stage of this crazy journey for me. I have learned a lot, met a lot of people both beneficial and not, and most importantly I have grown to understand life and it’s purpose more. I appreciate every day of pain,  sorrow, indifference, overwhelming breaths, joy, accomplishments, new found happiness,  and then some. Many people have this,  “What next”  sensation when they get to this point from what I am told but not so much on my home front. I’m excited as ever to see what the future has in store for me. 

10 days from this moment right now I will be in the OR peacefully gaining my new formation. It’s been a long debate leading up to these moments.  From long nights spend mulling over which procedure, which Dr, what financial obligations will I need to accomplish, insurance, moving to get what I need accomplished, dealing with crazy people to get what I need accomplished, and then some to be in that peaceful state will be the biggest sigh  of relief I have had in 26 years. And to know when I open my eyes finally I will see myself as I have for years. 

I have so many different thought racing at this moment.  Wondering what everything will look like.  How much pain will I actually be in. How fast will I bounce back from this. I’m not scared at all just more anxious than anything.  I tell my close friends everyday I feel like I’m having a child lol.  But i mean in a sense it will be my little baby that I’m going to take care of and love and accept as a new part of my life for the rest of my life. I am glad that Dr. Crane is around offering the services that he does to the community. Many thousands of intersexed and transsexuals around the world will benefit from his techniques and approach to proper care. I am glad to be able to pick a procedure that benefits me totally in all aspects of functionality that I had been hoping for. And I am glad for all the road blocks I faced on my journey to this point, they all shaped my path to find what was for me ultimately. 

Though I will not be Vlogging any longer, I will be giving very detailed and concise post op healing update on here as I did with meta. I chose not to vlog as I am  choosing to remove myself more and more from the exclusively trans  community and integrate into society as I set out to do in the first place. I will still be around to help most definitely but the same over extension of myself will not occur whatsoever. As I have found that I was too overly consumed with others and not myself which in the long run opened me up to situations and people that were beyond unneeded. So I must now take the time to heal and close off old avenues  that serve no essential  purpose any longer and some that served no purpose  to begin with. Everything has its time to come to an end as as I close this book I will start another. 

As far as preparations go so far I have had 11 electrolysis sessions,  none lasting less than 2 hours each. I have one more session before surgery but for the most part I am at about 85% clear.  People do not stress hair removal as preparation for phalloplasty enough. This needs to be something that starts at least a year prior  to your operation. Especially if you are bear hairy I can’t thank the Lord enough for my minimal thigh hair.  But even with minimal hair, 12 sessions (30 hours), and follicle scraping intra op I will need a few sessions at minimum after surgery.  Which is no big deal honestly as this is something I am willing to invest in as long as it takes to get the right results I am looking for. I will be making a lengthy post about the importance of this predation and when it should start. 

As for preparation of the skin, I have been using a strict regime of moisturizers.  Even down to the soap I use preop  all is in preparation for surgery. I plan to continue this up until the night before and before I leave for surgery I will be using an antibacterial unscented soap. I’m really cautious about bacteria when it comes to surgery so I take extra care. I have a fee supplies to get for post op healing, I will detail those in another post as well as it is beneficial. I also will make several posts on proper and effective wound care and what to use and what not to use. 

Also in preparation I have been doing a lot  of walking.  Getting my heart rate up and getting my respirations where I need them to be.  Opening up the lungs is very important  for me to be under for 8 hours.  Also making sure the core is good to go for optimal  healing. Also getting my legs used to alot of stress is going to be beneficial in the long run. My water intake has also doubled if not tripled.  This helps to regulate my system from digestive to immune.  People really sleep on the benefits of water and drinking at specific times can be beneficial. In the next few days I will be starting my fast and going vegan for a few days.  To unclog my intestinal  tract. Constipation post op is no joke and I’m preparing before hand for it. I will thank myself later for this one. 

Also in preparation I have a contact list as well as what to feed me and what not to feed me. For the nurses on duty just in case I’m knocked out during chow time, and the food isn’t half bad at the hospital either(yes I’ve been there a few times already lol). I plan on taking full advantage of all the cranberry, Apple, and ginger ale they give me. Oh and pineapples  the healing benefits of fruit are amazing! 

I do not look forward to being stuck in this bed nor heparin injections lol.  But i do look forward to the day they say “it’s time to walk” I’m soooooooo going outside. Hottest time if the year in SF going to enjoy some rays vacuum on the donor site and all lol. 

Well this is enough talking for now… Save some for tomorrow lol. 

Salaam 

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