So its been a little minute since ive updated so I figure why not take the time to do so now. I’m on my 5th month post op from meta with Dr. Miro and his team in Belgrade Serbia. I would have to say I can not be happier with the results that I have. Getting to know myself and my new anatomy has been one experience for the books. You never realize how much we overlook as we grow up the first time. But I would not trade any of my experience for anything. Many have asked me do I regret not getting phallo first, my answer remains the same “NO!” lol. I love being able to just go in the bathroom and use it with no issues. I am able to clear my fly with no issues at all even though I still use the stall just for privacy. I have used the urinal before its pretty neat but I’m just not found of standing next to another guy pissing lol.

I love my capabilities post meta, some of which I would not be able to do if I was post phalloplasty. Granted that is my over all place of completion but there’s no rush what so ever to get there.  I have realigned my time frame based on a few events in the near future but for now things as just on the slow and steady pace. Have I already made my mind up of what phallo I am getting? Most definitely, that decision was made the same time I decided on meta. Everything I do is for a specific reason and in a specific plan of action. I will be returning to Dr. Miro and getting the MLD phalloplasty. What size? Not set yet but I don’t feel the need to overcompensate for anything for those thinking bigger is better. For me comfortable is better. I have been dabbling in a few surgical techniques that maybe able to replace erectile implants. I will be discussing this with a few surgeons and see how they feel about the concept. If it works they better cut me a percentage I know that much lmao. I have also been dabbling with a few ideas that would increase the current size of meta over a period of time to the point they would reach average cis-male flaccid size. Which honestly speaking for those that don’t know the avg . flaccid size is really not that big at al. All these innovations in my head its amazing what my mind focuses in on. I’m not a Dr. yet but who’s to say I can process like one now? I’ll go more into my ideas at a later date after I put some patents behind my research and theories lol.

Any who….

I do have to say the best part about being post op would be my balls lmao. I am very fond of them more so then I thought I would be pre op. It’s quite interesting indeed to watch as things continue to take form. I have talked to a few surgeons about fusion on my scrotum. I will more than likely consult with Medalie, Meltzer and there is a local surgeon that I have a consult with actually this week. The local surgeon I am seeing is to consult with him about getting a revision to my chest, I would like my nipple areola complex to be reduced and my nipple stalks trimmed down a bit. I would also be talking to him about scar removal. Also im going to bring up pectoral implants and latimuss dorsi implants. The pectoral implants are just a back up IF my chest can not gain the amount of muscle mass that I’m seeking but I plan to build for a full year and see where my muscle and fat transfer is. The latimuss implants are in preparation for donor site of my prefered phalloplasty, just in case there is a depression after the graft is taken. I will also ask him about scrotal fusion on GP just because he is local and he is transfriendly. You wouldn’t think you would find that in St Louis but he’s here and his staff is great.

Today I started my first personal training session. Luckily I work at a gym so all my sessions ae free, all access to everything in the gym for free at any time i want. Talk about lunch break workouts! But today was a good day we assessed my goals and my strength. SHEESHHHH not working out for real in 5 months really does kill your strength. I’m so frustrated with what my maxes are now and boy does my trainer know it lol. None the less im not as small as I thought I was which is a good look and a good way to start. We are going to focus on my chest for our first few sessions until there is a bit of progress since I told him about my surgery. Now the cool thing about this and me being a med student is that I know different conditions that cause need for chest reconstruction. I told him of a common congenital deformity and come to find out he’s dealt with a few cases and knows just what to do outside of surgical intervention.  So I fell into the perfect spot as of now. I will also be starting MMA and Kickboxing training this month. I’m at the point now where im comfortable kicking and jumping without hurting myself. I’m going to be investing in a good jock strap and flex cup. Definitely will be protecting these crown jewels. Not bad though starting at 153 lbs and 11.2% body fat. I may decide to just stay in the 150’s and just cut up really good, maybe even 160. We shall see whats what when I get there. I’ll keep you all posted on that.

Lets see what else…..

Oh, I have 4 more months left of school. For those that didn’t know I am currently a medical assistant student in preperation for nursing school next year. I am currently a 4.0 student as well as a student mentor. Next month my mentorship will be promoted to ambassador. Which is basically like the teachers helper, when she’s busy doing things I can help students complete what they need. As well as help students that maybe struggling with their work its my job to make sure those grades come up to a passing level. Theres other things I will be responsible for but over all it looks great on my transcripts and resume for future employers. I plan on working at one of the many hospitals in the area. they will 9 times out of 10 be paying for me to go to nursing school in full. That will be a serious hand in my education and stability. As well helps me save money for my future phallic plans. Which also being in the medical field it comes in handy knowing that 9 times out of 10 you will have good insurance benefits. Knowing that this is in my near future I am planning my chest, scrotal, and possibly phalloplasty coverage around this aspect. I know for a fact chest revisions and scrotal revision would be covered under a specific group of coding (another advantage I now have, I know how to code things for insurance billing :D). The phalloplasty will be a bit more tricky hopefully I fall into a flexible employer that has international coverage or reimbursement. IF they have either option I will plan accordingly, which will actually move my phallo plans up a tad bit since all I would have to save for is flight and travel money (if fully or partially covered). If they are willing to reimburse then the time frame will remain the same as per schedule. SO as you see I have it all down basically to a science, just have to wait for the details to pan out.

So over all everything that should be going good is on the right path. Just another day and another step closer to my true self. Since transition is an everyday thing understanding myself must following the same steps. I love my journey no matter how frustrating it gets. I have learned to appreciate my differences and know that everything that makes me different makes me, me! Self acceptance is something serious but once you’ve found it the world is your playground!

Well that’s about it for now… a brother is doing well and just finally living life

Until next time…


  1. Nathaniel says:

    Hi, i am a fellow transman from singapore
    And i chanced upon your blog and i really got to tell you how inspiring your blog posts are to me. 🙂 i feel so happy for you with your progess
    And i feel motivated to do the same for my life. Thanks for posting all the details about your ops.. I am post mastec and hysto, looking at meta for my next surgery..

  2. AZiz says:


    i noticed you wrote salam at the end of your word
    im a muslim ftm too..
    plz email me so we can get to know more about each other

    thank you

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