Well I woke up around 5:30 am, not like that s unusual but my granz was leaving for the airport so her closing the door woke me up all the way. I laid in bed for some hours after that then decided it was up time. I took my meds and decided to give cooking another go round seeing as though I’m a lot less sore than the last time I attempted to cook in Belgrade. I made a huge cheese omelette and turkey bacon, mmm. It went pretty well and I found that I can stand with my legs not so “cowboyish” any more, YESSS! This is great for the idea of getting the hell out of this house tomorrow, don’t know where the fuck I’m going but away from this bed I know that much lol. I may go get my new phone and see how traveling treats me.

I also noticed that the way I have always walked it was like I had nuts all my life. I don’t feel like I’m walking around them they just kinda feel right. When I take pictures of my junk standing up it sits very forward like any other natal genitals I have seen. Interesting how my anatomy accommodates the changes to it well before they even happened. I still walk with caution and definitely sit down with caution as well. Even then I still notice that im not really sitting on my sac or anything like that. I think I’m most cautious about the last few stitches I can feel in the perineum area. I don’t want to take any chance of splitting them open and then have a whole new world of issues to deal with.

After breakfast I made way to take a shower and do some changing of my dressings. Funny thing about it was when I removed the gauze it was clean no blood no discharge or anything. I got a bit happy and did a little dance BUT didn’t want to celebrate too too much. I flushed my urethra, still no blood hmm. I moved my testicles up and down, which normally will prompt some blood to be pushed out of the urethra, nothing came out. This was definitely the highlight of my day if I do say so myself :D. I finished my shower and then still took all the proper precautions just incase my bleeding was being shy and decided to come back suddenly.

I can NOT wait until the 3rd when I’m allowed to pee. My body wants to go back to normal and use my urethra. Its starting to get to the point even after I drain my bladder I still feel like i have to go. So sometimes I have to literally sit down on the toilet to try to coax the pee to discharge for the catheter and not my urethra. UGH, what magnificent adventures in the urine department I have lol. It’s just really weird having that sensation when you know damn well you just peed lol.

Other than that there are no signs of infections anywhere. I do notice that my balls after I was look like they ae shedding skin. Not surprised about that, that’s how my body tends to cope with changes. My chest is still doing this from top surgery. The texture is a lot different and things are continuing to get softer and softer. I know for a fact I am SOOOOO glad I got my balls now and not with phallo I think I would’ve been ready to shoot someone lol. This is the worst part of everything my penis doesn’t bother me at all, I just know he’s there with his sensitive ass lol. Plus this gives my nads years to settle and get a decent hang on them like I want to happen. When I look at my pictures they sit just like I always wanted. Now I see why Marta and Miro were telling me once I heal it’s not going to look like surgery happened at all.

Just did another check of my gauze, BONE DRY! Hmmm where did the blood go I wonder but I’m not complaining at all lol. This is just prompting me to want to get up and go outside now. So tomorrow will be the day I test the grounds. The streets are pretty clear I’m just going to have to take EXTREME caution where I walk and pay close attention to the black ice and the regular ice. I CAN NOT afford any falling at this point in time but I do need some fresh air. I also still have yet to get my damn chinese food so im still craving that something serious lol.

I spent most of the day updating my blog outside of my blood testing adventure lol. I added more pictures and updated the surgical document section so you all can check out what my letters from surgery look like. Of course some info it blocked out, you all don’t need to know that much of my info lol. I think it’s just funny no matter how many times I spelled my name correctly they always put the Y in another place lol. I also added week 2 and 3 post op pictures to the yahoo groups I’m in. its pretty interesting to sit and look at the time line and see how things are changing already. This is why I only take pictures once a week :D. I do notice when I look at the pictures from my trip I get this warm fuzzy feeling and I so miss being there. It was just the best experience of my whole entire life. I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING in the world. Truly like bringing a new life into the world and watching it take its first steps.  Even with me going through it all on my own it just made me a stronger man for every event that will come my way during the duration of the rest of my life.

My new saying for those that seek to destroy me or have tried in the past:

“You didn’t kill me, you just gave me the wings I needed to fly”

People leaving my life never realize that they will return and will seek forgiveness. Magnanimous by nature smh, as MLK said; “He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love”. I would never give up my power to love just because someone else is too selfish to really understand what love is. This is why I enjoy being single, yes its a bit lonely when everyone else is all loved up BUT the time I have had to grow and see myself in a new light is something I enjoy. I can see myself being single for a while and not letting it bother me at all except those few lonely moments here and there. As well my celibacy is still on the strong front and I believe I have decided to uphold my religion on this one and NOT give myself to anyone but my future wife where ever she maybe hiding lol. Too many people give themselves up immediately to someone that is not even meant to stay around, everytime you do that you lose a piece of yourself. Its kind of like a spiritual cleanse and brings me closer to my maker, that’s what things like fasting are all about after all. There was no need for the creator to seek humanly desires (money, sex, food, etc) so when im without things like this I actually and more clear-headed and humble natured amazingly enough. My dreams and ambitions are what I wanted and what I have made them, my life is only going up from here 😀

Well until next time…

Salaam

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Comments
  1. Rob says:

    You’re coming along nicely so take it easy tomorrow when you venture out. : )

    Hey, on the Meta site I didn’t see the 3 weeks post-op pics you mentioned you posted. I also just joined The Deciding Line group but am waiting for moderation approval.

    Your detailed blogging and pics gives me hope and inspiration that one day it could all come true for me as well.

  2. Troy says:

    Ive watched some of your videos, i too have been thinking bout transitioning. I always felt like i should have been a boy. What website are u gona be posting ur results on?

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