Well what a productive day this is lol. I’ve gotten out of the bed all of about 5 times for food and changing of my dressings. Other than that no need shit I can’t go outside if I even wanted to. Theres about 3 feet of snow, my neighbor was kind enough to shovel a path for us but granz feels like I do we ARE NOT going outside unless mandated lol.
A few new development in healing, well not really new but I found them interesting. Today I decided to explore with a handheld mirror. Quite interesting if I do say so myself. I got to see things at a better angle and see that things are really really looking nicely as they heal. I seen the sutures in the perineum area, they seem to be very sealed off which is great to see. As my first conclusion on hair growth, I have hairy nads lol. I’m just glad the hair has reached a point where im not dying from itching, thank goodness for fast growing hair. My penis is definitely starting to get some length going on but still much retraction as I see the stitches are holding things in place pulling it back into my body a bit. I also seen the stitches immediately below my penis and those are healing nicely as well.
I attribute this healing of the stitches going so well to good hygiene, as well as me using antibiotic ointment. That normally heals me over very very quickly so I knew it would do the trick. Everywhere there is a stitch I put the ointment and its very soothing actually. The sutures where my implants were placed in have started to smooth out just at the ends of them its a few strands of suture hanging off. I’m going to just leave them be they should sort themselves out in a few more month. I at times forget im only just shy of 3 weeks post op so all of the things going on now are very normal and native to the healing process.
I did a little bit of massaging of my scrotum today. It felt pretty cool no real pain it felt like the skin has loosened up a bit which is my aim. It will make the implants settle some more. If it wasn’t for this got damn snow I planned on going to walmart and picking up a few things and a jock strap was one of them got damn mother nature UGH! My left nut is settling a bit further back then the right one already but I know the right will drop back or I’ll massage it back. I never wanted perfectly symmetrical nuts that’s not really realistic to me no one has perfect balls. I always wanted the one higher up than the other look lol, don’t ask its just something im found of. So I shall work on my creation lol.
I also got to see my head a lot clearer. I am clearly uncircumcised which is cool with me 100%. I’m just curious to see what happens when I do get erect, I’ve come to see and learn that those who are uncircumcised tend to have a lot more size then seen so I’m def excited about that. I also have to give Miro much cred on the shaping of everything and how my urethra sits so naturally at the bottom of my head. There was a bit of dried blood and dead skin I went ahead and peeled that off and cleaned the area with saline wipes. I clean everything very thoroughly so this just goes hand in hand. I can hold my penis with no pain just tenderness.
I cant wait to pump so that I can see my truthful size. The day I start back pumping is going to be a very very awesometastic day! I’m not sure if I’m more excited about voiding for the first time or pumping again lol. At times I forget about my cialis but it’s there waiting to be used so this shall turn out to be very very interesting indeed on top of my pumping. But as long as everything feels good while doing so I will continue. I am set on waiting until my 1 month mark to start back. Better safe then sorry you know?
On another non-penis related topic I’m pretty happy today. When you lose your ability to find happiness with someone else because your always trying to prove yourself to them you forget a lot of your basic instincts. Now that I have let go of trying to prove myself I find certain things and people who make me smile more than I actually paid attention to. I appreciate the sanity they bring me right now it helps me out a lot. Young minded people do not understand you don’t need to be intimate to show that you care or support someone. Sad fact is so many people think they need to be sexually involved to get to know someone or to show they care. Honestly speaking the moment you give yourself to someone intimately you loose all real possibility to an actual friendship because feelings become associated and confused. Lust is so much associated with love its ridiculous but when you realize it was only a fling by the time you do realize you have burned every bridge you could have had. A lot of people need to realize this before they go jumping off the deep end screaming love when in fact its a delusion of lust. I enjoy having my friend first because no matter what she will be my friend. That’s how you really build and maintain a bond with someone, she respects my boundaries and I really appreciate that because its hard to find someone who appreciates my celibacy. Seeing as though I have not had sex in over a year (yes a brother has some serious will power and Im very proud of myself :D) a lot of people feel the need to try to make me feel bad about not giving myself to someone on that level. Then I really have to stop and ask myself how do they think they logically think they make sense lol. Sense is really an agent in most people that is NOT common what so ever.
The name of the game is taking it slow. Admittedly my feelings for the past are still very much present but as a grown man I am not afraid to admit that and as a grown woman she understands and accepts that. Being with someone is difficult enough but healing a shattered man is even harder. I admire that she doesn’t feel the need to rush me she wants me to do things on my own. This is definitely a nice change from what I am used to. I do miss what I am used to but I know it is not healthy for me emotionally, physically, or mentally right now sadly simply because some people are too selfish to see how they hurt someone else. But as they say when you aren’t looking things kinda just fall in your lap :D, and on my terms is soooo much better then the crap people have tried to toss at me. I’m digging it!
Looks like 2011 just got better before it even started, prayer does take you a long way. No longer showing appreciation for what I do not deserve but showing appreciation ONLY for what I deserve and settling for nothing less of that. Maybe one day if my past is really meant for me she will change and not just say she has changed but who knows by then I maybe married with kids and as they say people normally wait until they are faced with forever to want to shape up. Only time will tell but I know what I want and I wont rest until things go how they should to make my life successful and make me and those in my life happy. I’m far from selfish so when I’m happy those around me will be happy as well I see to it, more people should think like this the world would be a lot more loving.
Ok enough of my ranting on lol…