Well well, where has this man been everyone is asking. There’s been a little bit of everything going on in my life lately just trying not to let it break my spirits. With 40 days left until I leave for Belgrade and 42 days until surgery, things are winding down very fastly. The days are turning into nights so fast I can’t even keep up with what day it is really. But of course no surgery of mine would be thrilling if there was no sort of complication lol.

I still have yet to get my passport (thank you wonderful US gov. ugh) seeing as though my BC did not have a raised seal on it I attempted to get a copy. Well let me explain how that went. Apparently in the state of NJ when you change your name you are not allowed to access your OWN birth records without correct name on the BC no matter if you have the name change order in hand to prove your own identity. Yes I know retarded as all hell but that’s how this dumb ass state functions. So I attempted to prove my citizenship by getting an affidavit of birth signed by my father, seeing as though it takes 8-10 weeks to get a record changed and then sent and I did not have that amount of time. Sent that in and they send me a letter stating that I need to prove my citizenship as well as get a letter from my DR stating my transitional status, mind you I included an exact letter like this with my application in the first damn place. So now I have to wait for my expedited copy of my BC that my father had to order seeing as though with my name not changed on my record only my mother and father can access it. Which puts my passport timing less than 3 weeks until I have to leave. I’m going to have to set an appt. and more than likely get a same day passport because this is just too damn much  with this mess.

Outside of the passport crap everything else is fine, well I still need labs but that’s nothing hard to get. Surgery is paid for, tickets are purchased for a very good price on an international roundtrip ticket. The ony slight change in my accommodations is that I will be going to Belgrade alone the whole time. So this should be mighty interesting. I’m not too unsettled about being alone 14 days in another country by myself. Hell I’ve been on my own since 12 so strange places alone are nothing new for me. I feel that I am in excellent hands and will be cared for like I am family, especially because I will be alone. I have a cool application on my iPod that lets me speak some Serbian phrases which will help when talking to some people who aren’t as fluent as others.

As long as I have this nice laptop, iPod, blog, and webcam I will be 110% Okie dokie lol. For those that know me personally Ill be on Skype to chit chat. I’m more or less worried about the pain not anything else. But I know as long as I have my pain meds and possibly some anti-anxiety meds I will be just fine. Both meds will help me relax and also sleep which will aid in the healing process in so many ways. I really never planned to travel outside the apartment, unless of course there is some kind of dinner planned with the Dr’s but outside of that I will be relaxing. I’m going to try to upload my photos right away that I take. I know there will be all kinds of crazy as shots and angles that I get. I always take weird photos while highly intoxicated from anesthesia and pain meds lol.

I will be taking one bag and my book bag and i want to see if I can get them both as carry on’s but we shall see how that works out. I mean I wont have anything that would be a hazard all my meds will be labeled in clear bags etc. But if it makes things easier I’ll just check my duffel bag. I’ve decided to cut down on some clothes since I will just be there alone not doing a damn thing lol. So ill prob have some sweats, shorts, and undies that’s about it. I can walk around shirtless for all I care lol.

Lets see what else is going on with my life? Well had my levels checked early this month and my levels were sky damn HIGH, 1162. No bueno, it’s just so amazing what removal of the major estrogen agent can do to the body. With this happening my Dr. decided it was only right to lower my dosage from .5 ml/100 mg/week to .25 ml/50 mg/week. The concentration is still the same (200 mg) the major change is the dose and the vials, instead of 10 ml vail i now have 1 ml vail which is a whole months worth. I have 4 of those now, which is pretty cool.

I will be retiring from the east coast for good after surgery. I wont put too much of my moving plans out there but I am happy with where I’m going. I found an excellent clinic and have my first appt. at my 7th week post op date. They work well with transgender men and women which is great. Not too pricey, $125 for initial visit, $75 for any other visits after that then labs are done by labcorp. Seeing as though I’m done with the surgical part I only need to really see them when its time for T and as it stands that’s only every 4-5 months.

I’m currently studying to be a pharmacy tech, hence why I just had that anal break down of conversion calculations when I was talking about my T dosage lol. It helps me remember things when I’m constantly involving it in my life. I plan on going to school to be a Pharmacist, I found I have a serious love for Pharmaceuticals. Whether it will be next year or 2012 will be determined by applications and required courses. I may have to take a few courses to eligible for the school I want BUT that will not stop me at all from doing what I want and need. It will just give me more credentials to excel and exceed all limits and expectations. I’m really excited about this upcoming year. It’s like for the first time in my life I can actually think straight and focus on life and not just transition. It’s a very invigorating feeling if I had to say so myself.

Besides all this stuff im just waiting in pure excitement with no set expectations. I’ve learned no matter what plans I set in stone I always need to be a bit flexible and allow things to flow. There is always another way to get to the goal I want. So plan A through Z are already in place and if A through Z fail there’s always 1 through 1 million. I’m living with no limits and only expectation is to succeed :).

Damn its amazing what transition can do.

Until Next Time


  1. I know everything will work out and you will be fine! You will be calling me while you are high in no time!

  2. 泳鏡 says:

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