So today marks day 27 post op top surgery and things since day one have been quite an adventure even now things are still just changing day after day after. you never quite understand the means of change until your actually living and breathing it everyday.  I can stand in the mirror now and see myself not anyone else but who I have seen everyday. It’s beautiful thing to finally recognize your self in the mirror. Falling in love with yourself when you have never really been found of your appearance is pretty enlightening within itself.

I seen my Dr. a few days ago who hadn’t seen me since May right before my hysto. She was just breath-taken by the fact of how much my attitude had changed and also at the results from my surgery. When another medical professional is pleased at things that just puts me at ease over all my insecurities and it also makes me further more understand that things I see other people don’t see and I need to leave the small things alone so I can finally enjoy and not worry so much.

Truthfully speaking I wasn’t prepared for the healing part of this specific surgery, not at all due to the results or the surgeon. Simple due to the fact of the lack of information there is available for peri/keyhole surgery out there. I find that since more guys get double more people simple put all their focus there and hence the big gap in important information for those healing from peri/keyhole.

FACT: peri takes longer to heal then double. This large missing fact will leave a person with unrealistic expectations from surgery which can be damaging in a lot of ways. Also not having anyone to share and compare with also can leave a lasting impression. I know this from my own healing I have my days where I can’t find anyone to compare to that had this issue or that issue. Then I have to remind myself it is still too early to tell. Peri/keyhole involves a lot of skin elasticity and tightness for the skin. Its like removing all the air from a hot air balloon your chest essential has that same effect. Honestly speaking it can take a full year to get things back to the normal or your ideal look. Especially when you weren’t a negative A to beginner with. I also found that me having a build chest was good but really meant nothing much as far as my post op pecs are concerned. Things look different when the used to be is gone so I’m realizing I have a lot of work to do once I get back in the gym.

Another thing I noticed is that along with me working out being contoured during peri/keyhole is a thing that MUST happen. Not just to make your muscles look good but to also give that prominent male chest some definition.I think IF I wouldn’t have done my research on this prior to surgery I would not have known what to ask for during surgery. Thats a major thing that is needed to know when it comes to your body and getting surgery. Knowing what you want and being able to have a Dr. that can understand your ideas, wants, and concerns during surgery is a big thing. I was glad to be able to express this to Dr. Weiss in all my pre-op visits with him. He’s really an excellent surgeon I can’t wait to see him on the 7th.

As the days also roll by I am reminded that in 16 weeks and 1 day or 112 days until I leave for surgery with Dr. Miro and 114 days until the actual surgery. It seems like a lot but we all know that’s not a lot I’m almost down to double digit count. Last time I did that it went from day 45 to day 2 in a matter of what seemed like seconds lol. I’m prepared for everything set aside of the aesthetic appearance seeing as though that is another area of information sharing that is lacking. There are plenty examples of those of lighter skin tones but nothing my tone which is a bit hard to realize going into this but i know when I’m done that will at least chance on my part if no one else. I think that is a major blockade for a lot of POC guys out there. Fact being there are major healing differences between the different ethnicities so i am a bit worried but reading and understanding that kelioding does not happen below the waist has me at ease. As well as seeing my prior healing also lets me know that I will have good skin tone color once it heals over during lower. There are a lot of unknown factors that I’m walking into and has be a but at the same time I will not let those small apprehension stop me from over all happiness.  My confidence with my choice of surgeon has me at so much ease. realistically it will not be perfect right away but like with anything else on my body and in my control I will make it perfect. With nothing but praise and being watched over by Allah I know I will be in great hands.

It’s just a bit of reflection that goes on every time I see and thing about whats about to happen next. Where was I at this time last year and the year before. How all seemed like it was a fail and then the moment i gave undying faith it was like wow everything that was willed to happen did and not on my time but the intended time frame to happen. Just like I said before IF i could have  done all this at 18 I would’ve but there was much learning and maturity that needed to happen before all this. And still now at 22 I still have a lot of learning to do before life really gets started. I’ve changed a lot over my transition and I find it enlightening and I wouldn’t trade my journey for nothing in the world.

From day one to month 25 things have been amazing and I have truly grown to love appreciate myself. 8D

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How time flies when your having fun 8D


  1. Logan says:

    DAmn, dude! You look great! Good luck with your upcoming surgery.


  2. Discovered your web site via bing the other day and absolutely adore it. Carry on the truly amazing work.

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