Man it seems like the time is literally sitting on the floor and dragging its mean ass at super snail speed. Like geez I have been doing stuff allllllll day to pass the time but yet and still it still goes at its own pace. Its kind of out-of-body to sit and think like damn this time last year i was wondering how in the hell was this going to happen. In the midst of it I honestly was at a stand still for faith in the matter, I thought it was going to never happen at all. But I’m sooooo happy I listened to my first instinct and as soon as I had the chance to do so I took a hold of the opportunity that has put me in this 33 hour deadline. It’s sooo freaking amazing to come from nothing and having nothing to now being where I am. Just to sit here and go back in my videos is just almost tear jerking.

I have envisioned this moment for years even before starting physical transition. While I was in middle school sports I loved them all but just being bound by the fact that I didn’t feel comfortable in myself made it hard to play. My dad would cheer me on and try to help me better my game but all truths I was depressed. They tried to say all kinds of things were wrong with me and if anyone took the real-time to just talk to me and ask me I would’ve told them the truth. But yet it was better to just yell at me, diagnose me, and send me on my way with a bottle of meds that did nothing but make me sleepy. Years later am I on meds NO, am I depressed NO, do I want to hurt myself NO, do I feel the need to be on any medication NO; simply because I AM WHO I AM FINALLY.

Why it is so hard for medical staff to comprehend our need for physical change. I know there are a lot of imposters and a lot of trend followers but as I’ve always said and will continue to say you can set the real apart from the confused any day. Not to say dysphoria and transgenderism does not flow as fluid as a persons sexuality BUT a genuine transgender person shows progress within change. Even the people who do in fact have other mental health issues once they are allowed to speak and be heard and understood a lot changes within them. They no longer feel like an experiment they feel human and alive.

Why is it that we are forced to be unhappy when time and time and time again it has been PROVEN for YEARS that surgery and proper transition methods CURE the many ailments we had or have acquired from dysphoria. It’s known fact that traumatic experiences cause PTSD, its known fact that having unprotected sex leads to risking your life, so why is it not known fact for us? What makes us any different the all the other NEEDED treatable ailments? Is it because we don’t fit societies norms, what the hell is a normal society can anyone answer that? Is it because people are so afraid of what they NEVER got to know in the first place? If you teach your children unconditional love instead of hate, bigorty, and violence against those who are not like them you would see how the world changes. I mean really when you sit and think about it why are we any different?

It could all be so simple but for what ever reasons the world makes it hard for us to just be us. When truth is we as transgendered men and women have been here since land before time. We are no mistake, if anything we are blessed to experience both sides of life’s glory. We are blessed to be taught from both sides of life and get a understanding of how the world really works. I wouldn’t want to be born any other way because who I was MADE ME WHO I AM. How many people do you know that can say that? How many people do you know that can appreciate that?

Even now with surgeries lined up I’m still finding myself. I’m blessed to be this young in life and be able to finally be one within myself and not be tormented by years of confusion beyond what I need. It’s not easy waking up every day for 22 years and not recognizing who you see in the mirror as yourself. Can you imagine 33 or 44 or 55 or in some cases 66 years of not identifying with who’s in the mirror? That’s life shattering at times to the point of no return. All we really want is love and respect we don’t care if you accept our views or life that’s the thing about being human we’re not all the same. Hell even within the transgendered community we all have different wants, needs, etc the one thing that connects us all is that we have a common starting point. But if you think about life we all have a common starting point. There always going to be something about yourself that you don’t like and for people that change that you know how it feels to be transgendered even IF it has nothing to do with transition. Example, plenty of people don’t like thier body shape, size, weight, etc so you bust your ass to change what you see in the mirror. No one goes around telling you that you shouldn’t, that your wrong, or that your God’s(Allah’s) mistake they just let you be and let you be one with YOURSELF and in many cases give you encouragement to succeed. We don’t want the world, we don’t want the country, we don’t want the state or the city, we just ask to be treated like normal human beings. Isn’t that what human rights is all about?

I wish with everything in me that I could take my blessings and spread that joy and happiness to everyone I call my brother and sister because we all deserve happiness and for a person or a group of people to deprive us that based on bias notions or pure ignorance is blasphemy. One day I pray the people in the heads of office leave and a person like myself takes place. This is why I tell my bros don’t complain FIX THE PROBLEM. Do visible POSITIVE things to get your point across. Can you fathom what would happen if one transgender man and women held a high authority seat in every state in every chain of command? For those of us that are POC you understand all to well what a little will power and showing we will not be moved can do. Use that knowledge in every aspect of life and we can change the world for everyone to follow. Even if you never show your face to the world you can still make a change for the better…

Food for thought…

Salaam

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Comments
  1. Seems you have a lot on your mind! I am happy that you are about to reach your next step in your journey.

  2. It will be done soon!

  3. jennifer says:

    i wish i could find someone to help me “be ME” too. right now, i have enough for everything but the actual surgery. i need help with that, so i can finally be the who i really am

  4. ip camera says:

    Impressive article post on the blog, I share the same views. I wonder why this particular country totally does not think like me and additionally the web publication master 🙂

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