“You don’t have surgery, so there for your not really FTM”…um excuse me!?

Posted: June 13, 2010 in Changes, Discrimination, DSM, Dysphoria, GID, ICD-10, ICD-9, Male Ego, pathologized, Transgender

This has been a statement that has been floating around the LGBT community for some time now and I would really like to speak on it. It is quite disturbing how people use surgery as a pre-determining factor of someones manhood. First of all what gives anyone the right to determine what is and isn’t truth for someone elses body? I don’t give a crap how long you been sticking yourself with that needle because a real man was a man before that and without it. Last time I checked you have your skin they have theirs so why are you so concerned about that mans path, to me that sounds like your own insecurities eating a grand canyon sized pit in your existence. Secondly, what does surgery have to do with anything or how a person chooses to identify? If I wanted to walk around this place saying i was a flying red monkey who are you to tell me any different?

We lose ourselves in this idiocy. Especially within the trans-masculine spectrum. How can you, yourself be a man of trans-experience turn around and tell someone who is no-op and possibly no -t or even naturally transitioning that they aren’t transgender because they aren’t doing the things YOU choose to do? Last I checked transitioning was self influenced not cult activity with military precision and everyone walking the same line. So I’m assuming Testosterone and surgery is the only correct way to be transgender now, huh? What books are you people reading from and who in sam hell are you all talking to? Has anyone ever took the time to actually read the definition of transgender as well as all the nicely fit “labels” that actually are under the trans-masculine spectrum?

Take a second to educate yourself will you:


I really think there is a big lack of education and over all respect within our own community. Yet again who shall be the blame for that? No one but ourselves honestly, if some of us took the same energy it took to put the fun stuff together and put it into conferences/rallies built and centered on trans-awareness half the issues we have would be lowered big time. But like I’ve said in previous posts looks like myself and a few others are the only ones thinking with motive and not just sheer compliant with no will to change the things they complain about. Don’t complain about the crap you don’t plan to fix, it makes you look even worse then you already do. We fight the outside world so damn much you aren’t seeing that the same crap you don’t want them to do to us is the same crap your doing to your own trans-brother. So what they aren’t on T, so what they don’t want or need surgery guess what that just means their level of dysphoria is not as deep as yours and that my friend doesn’t deserve to be shunned in fact that should be applauded. The fact that they struggle with things but at the same time have found comfort within. That my friends is a healthy transition, you should really think about it.

Then I find countless numbers of LGB people saying this all the time:

“You’ve been ftm X amount of years and you don’t have surgery so your not transgender”

Are you serious, so what now I guess everyone can get free surgery? Are they paying now? lol…Apparently some of these fools has thousands tucked away for us guys, must be an earlier Christmas around here lol. As bad as I wish every day that was true so none of us would have to struggle its wayyy far from truth. I guess they just suppose money falls out the sky and we can then go pay for surgery. I guess they just assume life around us stops when we transition and bills, family, obligations, health care, and financial strain just  stops when we decide we want to transition. Please would someone explain to me what planet these clowns are living on?

Some of you just like myself have children please do the favor educate them now that money doesn’t grow on trees. Because obviously some of our parents forgot to mention that in the midst of their educational plateau they just left that out lol. I really don’t understand the audacity of these people. Like serious who in the hell made you the trans police? Then on top of that these fools know not 1 real transgender person, just because you walked past someone in the ville don’t mean your the transgender expert. Especially considering the fact the biggest crap talkers are studs/.butches/doms/ wtf ever you want to call yourself. Sad thing is NEWSFLASH they are just as trans as me lol. A bit over 30 years ago LGB was seen in the DSM as a sexual deviant behavior labeling it a mental condition so how can anyone from the LGB community have a strong hold over the trans-community and label us as wrong or disturbed? Pathology is the only reason anyone looks at us this way when in fact there’s nothing wrong besides we are not comfortable and with us not being comfortable other issues will and always do arise.

Real talk the definition of drag king as well as cross dresser under the trans-masculine spectrum indeed screams stud in every way you read it. Yet they dis trans-men in every way. A lot of it I have found to later be jealousy because you just haven’t been real with yourself and you really want to transition. The other fact is just jealousy point blank, because there is a certain “look” now a days that these masculine women are going for and we get it as men. I have noticed a lot of these nuts that talked bad about my transition are the same fools that come to me years later saying the same things and its predictable at this point:

“I’m sorry I came at you like I did. I wasn’t being real with myself. I admire your courage. Can you help me do the same?”

I mean come on now, you can say that so easy now what was wrong with your tongue before? If I had a dollar for every time I heard this I would have been had top surgery paid for lol. But do I judge them? No, I extend my hand because I know no one else will. I forgive but at the same time I let them know and understand how they do and how they act is not kosher. Another man’s path is not their own so there for there is no room for them to dictate what is right and wrong for that person. I mean come on have we not seen enough of what mass following does?

Essentially it all dwindles down to respect of your fellow man. You have no right to tell someone how they should feel, how they should act, how they should be, solely because YOU ARE NOT THEM. I’ve watched it happen when people think they are helping well I’m here to tell you that your not helping a damn thing but yourself feel like your accomplishing something when truth is your derailing an already shaky train. Some people just need to learn to shut the hell up sometimes and life would be so much better.

It’s nice to dream isn’t it…


  1. me says:

    Ja..people really need educating about the very basic difference between “sex” and “gender”

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