Surgery: Did it cure you?

Posted: June 11, 2010 in Changes, DSM, Dysphoria, GID, ICD-10, ICD-9, Male Ego, medically necessary, pathologized, Post-op, Pre-op, Transgender

It seems to be some misconception on surgery being the cure for things and I wanted to talk about it a little bit from my point of view. Not everyone will feel this way or even like what I’m about to say BUT that’s why its my opinion lol.

When first coming into transition most of us focus on one thing, getting to surgery asap. We dream it, we eat it, we sleep it, we breath it, until it is done. But is it the cure for all dysphoria?  The sad but realistic truth is NO it’s not. Yes it does relieve many and i mean many many issues with dysphoria but at the same time people forget all the other issues that arose from the pre-operative dysphoria are still very much there and need to be dealt with. Surgery to me is like a medically needed crutch almost like starting T. It’s something we need to be comfortable within our skin but it does not automatically fix every issue in the world that we had before hand. When this is not taken into consideration that is where trouble arises.

We as a whole tend to not be realistic with ourselves at times when it comes to transition, surgery, and outcomes which in some cases we end up stalling our own transitions. I know from experience I’m very guilty of it myself. When we take the time to think about it we realize the only true solvent to the issues we face is embracing who we are in what ever way is comfortable for you. Meaning finding happiness even through the sad, trying, and terrible times.

For instance in my case, being without surgery until now has allowed me to do a few things. I have found happiness outside of transition and I know what calms me so if things are going wrong I know how to lift myself back up. Many who don’t take that time never learn how to do that. So even after all their needed surgeries when things take a nose dive they end up diving with it. Another important reason why pre and post op counseling should be done. Mental stability is the key to a healthy and safe transition, if you don’t have that no matter what you do something will ALWAYS be bothering you.

In no way am I saying transition is fraud or shouldn’t happen because I know damn well one of you jerk offs have already put that in your mind. I’m saying be real with your issues and yourself and transition and life in general will be A LOT easier. If you don’t love yourself or part of yourself before hand how do you expect to do it after? And those of you that say “Oh I don’t love myself now that’s why I’m transitioning”. your full of shit said to say and I’m going to tell you why…you loved yourself enough to know something was wrong and needed to be fixed so you transitioned. You loved yourself enough to not take the easy ways out and to take a step in the right direction. You loved yourself enough to stop holding back due to judgment from other beings that don’t know their own anus from a hole in the wall. you loved yourself a whole hell of a lot you just need to understand really what that love is really about. The most beautiful thing we can do at the moment of self realization is self love even if you don’t realize your doing it, by transitioning your loving yourself in the best way.

Point is, until you appreciate YOU there is no amount of surgery, testosterone, therapy, dr’s, groups, support, etc that can make you love yourself anymore. That will power lies within you and you alone. You just have to figure out a positive way to embrace who you are and where you have come from.

If your reading this right now you are seeing for yourself one of the ways I have come to love myself. I express easily with writing as well as educating and helping others through. This is my self love this is my self appreciation this is my dedication from where I’m been and where I’m going. The more I write the more I build the more I breath clean and healthy life into this new found man. physical transition is the alignment of the body to match the mind but if we never align the mind completely then how can we fully be happy in transition?

Food for thought….

Salaam

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Comments
  1. You make some great points. There are lots of people on T and have had top surgery but they are not mentally men yet and they have a hard time living in the world because they spent so much energy getting the physical up to par they neglected the mental, emotional and spiritual.

  2. Trevor says:

    I’m so glad I came across your blog man. Thanks for writing about your experiences. I’m pre everything, I’m hoping to start T soon and reading your blog is helping me prepare. It took me years to decide to do this and one of the biggest doubts I had was if surgery will cure me. I wanted to be cis so bad so I tried hard to be comfortable in this body. I meditated a lot on this and I finally realised what you said in this blog. Being trans is a big (but not the only) part of my identity and medical transition is a journey I have to go through. However, I can’t focus on the physical only, because that’s not the only part of my identity. Being trans and having dysphoria, It’s so easy to obsess over the physical aspects and surgery sometimes. It’s so easy to neglect our mental, emotional and spiritual development because the dysphoria makes us concentrate surgery.

    I’m glad I’ve realised this because it makes me feel more balanced and better prepared for this journey. You’re so right, we need the surgery to feel comfortable in our bodies but surgery doesn’t automatically mean happiness. We also need to develop other areas of our lives and mental and spiritual development is essential for that.

    • Sir Vertigo says:

      I am glad that my blog was able to make a difference for you. It is always important that we are able to understand and identify when we still have faults that need ton be tended to. Once we address those we are able to live a well rounded life the way we need to.

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