Anticipation Anxiety..Turned in insurance info for Top surgery clearance

Posted: April 9, 2010 in Changes, Mastectomy, Peri Areola, Pre-op, Top Surgery, Transgender, update

It’s nothing new for me to suffer from this its just what its for its nerve wrecking. So many thoughts are running thru my mind im really unsure of how to completely contain myself. Im glad i can get into the gym starting this weekend I def need to get my mind off things and i believe this will allow me too. My big brother mentioned to me since i stopped smoking as much he’s noticed i’ve been more of all over the place then focused on what I need to be. Lol no matter how funny he’s right. I should be the poster child for medical mj. Its the best anxiety relief for me there is honestly. If not then i catch a bad case of anxiety induced adhd which ties into some ocd issues i have. Some people dont realize you dont have to just be a germ freak to have ocd, unfortunately i have a few ocd traits how cut. But when it comes to these things im nervous its like what if this and what if that im just all over the place when it comes to waiting. 14 days is not long but when your waiting on something so majorly life changing it seems to drag ass. I wish at times i can remove myself from my brain and just come back 2 weeks from now. I’ve been praying for sometime now that things just go the way they are supposed to so far everything i’ve asked for has been put into place where my stress level has gone down a significant amount BUT the waiting is a killer no matter how stress free you can be. I wish there was something I could do besides worry no matter how much im told to calm down it just doesnt happen. Who invented this anxiety crap? Im just glad im not having panic attacks Im sure that will be hours before the OR. Which im kinda worried about I have no clue whose going to be there when I open my eyes. Well I know one person will be there well i think but Im really tryna see who else will be. Ugh too many damn thoughts for one mans mind and now i have to be at work in the rain blahhh. Let me relax myself

Salaam

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