I almost pissed myself: Surgery Part 4

Posted: February 12, 2010 in Bilateral Salpingo Oopherectomy, Pre-op, TLH-BSO, Total Laprocopic Hysterectomy, Transgender, update

So after not being able to be seen last week for that stupid ass transvaginal ultrasound I had to return yesterday to get it done. I was really out of place in the waiting room, young black dude with 50 old Hispanic women watching days of our lives lmao umm yea about that.

I registered and took the paper thingy to the clerk she handed me a cup and was like go drink 4 cups of water. Im thinking to myself, Im not even thirsty and its cold as polar bear balls outside. then she adds in “Oh don’t pee if you have to use the bathroom”. WTF! ughhh

This was a straight set up we all know how slow they are in hospitals. I’ve already had a discussion with my PCP about the fact this pain I’ve been having as it increases my bladder can’t handle a lot it’s like a constant pressure. She already checked for UTI and I don’t have any signs of that. So she said it’s probably the other activity I have going on thats causing this other issue as well. BUT these fools had me sitting there for at least an hour before they called me, i was doing the pee pee dance silently in my chair lol.

So the nurse takes me back in the ultrasound room. I see all these wands and gadgets and crap and have a flash back of TLC’s a baby story lmao. Felt awkward once again but still trying to relax and not piss myself from having to go and because I was uncomfy. She tells me get on the lil bed table thingy and lay back, she used the same freaking ultrasound thingy on my stomach they use for the pregg women and all this funky ass blue gel crap that got alll over my underroos and looked a hot mess on my stomach hair (no longer a happy trail its a forest lol)like i hard gelled it into a mohawk. So she gets to fishing around and explaining that they do 2 ultrasounds not just one, so while I was getting happy that they messed up and was doing the wrong ultrasound she pops my bubble. Even though my paperwork says male she politely asked me about the feminine stuff and didnt make me feel uncomfy at all. But hell Im just glad im male on everything and theres no issues SWEET!

Ok back to the fun stuff. So the other nurse comes in because they work in 2 apparently, I wasn’t the only one I made sure lol. After the first one took some pics and couldn’t find my flipping ovaries after pressing down on my flipping stomach that I still have pin in and I STILL HAD TO PISS. this chick comes in and asks some of the same stuff but she makes me feel cool about it too asking me am I ok. She’s been doing this longer cuz she goes back thru and finds them and presses down harder, im about to piss at that point tho lol. Then she says ” OH thats why you couldn’t find them, the uterus is tilted” WTF! what the hell you mean its tilted are we playing pinball here? I proceed to freak out and was like WHAT! she was like don’t worry its nothing bad it happens. O just great I would get the funny one right. So she takes some pictures then tells me why I couldn’t pee yet and also shows me. They use the full bladder as a window to see the uterus and also explains that the pressure from my other issue can cause the feeling of pressure on my bladder as well.

So they tell me go pee, YES finally! I go with no issues like any other day and head back to the room. Then they hit me with “get undressed waist down and wrap up with this sheet. ok thats fine, yea ok fooled my ass. She comes back in with some shit that looks like a mini lightsaber. UM NOT COOL! And i straight up asked whats going where? She kinda chuckled and said its not gonna be the whole thing just about an inch. That don’t make it any damn better nothing goes in there. I feel myself beginning to freak out and had to immediately find something to think about to calm down. The other one comes back in the room now and gets the thing all prepped and lube, in my head i felt like i was just abducted by aliens and about to be probe lol. She did ask me before she even did anything did I want to put it in there and I must have given her a look because she then asked did I have penetration and I told here not my cup of tea. She then asked did I want to do this at all, and i wanted to say hell no but i knew this will help get the crap over faster and get the hysto done asap so I told her its fine. Siked her mind though because she stuck that thing in and guess what my bladder was still freaking full after I pissed completely.

So she makes me go again…I sit in the bathroom 15 mins with the water on and had to piss twice to completely empty my bladder. I told them about this and she said thats not good either, i may need a bladder test now. Just great ugh. But this time it was empty to I get back tot the uncomfy table and they do it again. I drift off far far away and tune them both out in order not to freak out. She did ask me if I was ok a few times, wanted to say hell no but said yea. Mind you shes moving this lil wand thingy with a camera on it inside there. Then she gets to pressing on my damn sore side apparently there is something wrong with that side they just didnt say what you know how dr’s and nurses do. But tjhat side was extremely hard to find, as well as this question was asked “have you ever been preg”. Now I know that’s a normal question but that had already asked that in the papers she was asking this while looking at my uterus just like my PCP did when she did my pap and seen the swelling. So I’m thinking they both are seeing the same crap. then finally she’s done and hands me a stack of tissue and says results will be with you dr in a week get dressed and have a great day.

YES! and ewwww I had globs of blue gel crap down there SUCH A VIOLATION!

So moral of that story: Ultrasounds equal blue crap everywhere and almost pissing yourself lmao

And who the hell has a tilted uterus what kind of blasphemy is that? but most deft this should help out as well as not being able to find my ovaries whats that really about? Im glad they mad me feel as comfy as possible that couldve went a lot worse but I’m assuming I wasn’t the first. And it made me feel extra great seeing my name on their screen as I walked out and everything said Male and in the system it was just listed as a regular ultrasound. They rock for that one.

SN: emailed the surgeon pics of the nether regions so we can discuss DHT and more pumping. How much more can I do I mean dang ima need to walk around with it on next lmao. Another thing I found out they record the whole surgery and pictures of it as well and when I wake up I’ll have a handy dandy disc with all of this on it. Thats awesome and you know i will be sharing, hell i wanna see my damn self I’m not grossed out by nothing and it would be intriguing to watch my rebirth.

All in all I’m just glad this was the last damn time that crap ever ever ever has to happen to me. Next update hopefully will be consult with the hysto surgeon.

Salaam

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