R.I.P KAPRI, BIG BROTHER I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU

Posted: October 13, 2008 in death, post t, Transgender, update

TODAY HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT DAY OF MY LIFE…I HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT. I CAN’T STOP CRYING, I CAN’T STOP SHAKING. MY BIG BROTHER, MY EVERYTHING WAS TAKEN FROM ME. THE ONLY MAN THAT HAD MY BACK WHEN I HAD NO ONE. THE ONLY MAN THAT TOOK ME UNDER HIS WING AND SAID “I GOT YOU LIL BRO ITS GONNA BE AIGHT”

THE MAN I COULD CONFIDE IN, THE MAN I LOOKED UP TO. THE MAN I WANTED TO DO EVERYTHING STEP BY STEP, JUST BECAUSE THATS HOW MY BIG BROTHER DID IT. THE MAN WHEN THAT HELPED ME KEEP MY HEAD AFLOAT. THE MAN THAT HELP ME FIND ME. THE MAN THAT WAS ON THE PHONE WITH ME WHEN I TOOK MY FIRST SHOT BECAUSE HE WAS TAKING HIS.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE? MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT HAS ERUPTED IN A MILLION PIECES, MY SOUL IS ON FIRE. MY STOMACH WON’T STOP TURNING AND I CAN’T STOP CRYING. MY HANDS ARE SHAKING AND I WISH THIS WAS ALL A BAD DREAM. BUT ITS NOT AND I DON’T WANT IT.

BROTHER I LOVE YOU…YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE MAN ENOUGH TO WATCH OUT FOR ME. EVEN THOUGH NOW I FEEL LIKE IM ALONE AGAIN I KNOW YOUR SOMEWHERE STILL HERE WITH ME.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO ERASE TIME. I WISH YOU WOULD’VE CAME TO JERS FOR THE WEEKEND. I WISH I WOULD’VE CAME TO YOU. WE WOULD’VE BEEN SMOKED OUT AND OUT ACTING STUPID. WHY TAKE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS EVER REALLY MY FAMILY FROM ME? WHY BREAK ME LIKE THAT?

EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES ALL I SEE IS YOU SMILE…I HEAR YOU VOICE IN THE BACK OUT MY MIND. I’M OVER HERE LOSING MY DAMN MIND…I JUST WANT MY BROTHER BACK….{tears}

May 30, 1982- October 11, 2008

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