Well I got a little bit lazy the past few days as I’m on bed rest yay me lol. But it’s for the best of my results which have been doing fabulous minus one thing.
These sharp electric pains in my scrotum are not cool lol. Nerves are waking up and everything feels all tingly. I have a heating pad on my penis with it elevated to increase the blood flow and to decrease the swelling. I’ll eventually share photos in appropriate settings. Some I trust already have been given access to my healing archive eventually it will be made into a post op healing guide for those that have ALT with crane as many things aren’t talking about and would freak the normal non-medical knowledgeable person out. Dr Crane will be posting my photos on his site soon pre op phallo aka my metoidioplasty then compared next to that my phalloplasty. I’m going to work with him on up doing the site to show alot more that folks trying to decide on consults want to see. The first picture book I have will be only available on his office with his portfolio as a gift of sorts to him for changing my entire life! Not sure how I feel yet about posting on other sites has nothing to do with me not liking my penis has everything with me not liking certain people who had taken safe spaces and turned them into dictatorships where most are even scared to ask questions. People’s personal bias need not to mesh with thier jobs as moderators. BUT that’s another post for another day. I’m curious to see what everything will heal like it’s totally exciting. Everyday is a new experience and something heals and changes. Best thing I can do is take pics of everything and I do mean everything I’ve gotten angled more dude are scared to show but it doesn’t give an accurate account of healing my eyes if you don’t show everything as it heals. I think I’m close to 1k pics already lmao. Though in the long run I want to help other through the psychological healing process I also do this for my own psychological healing. I do all the flick taking so that I can go back and compare. And in 12 days so much has changed its amazing! The human body is truly a force to be met with and it’s ability to bounce back from almost anything continues to amaze me. I can now feel pressure from mid-way up my shaft (when I squeeze I feel at the base). I’m still having moments that it totally hits me that I have a brand new penis and I get this totally unstoppable smile on my face. Find a whole new reason to love myself from head to toe. I totally enjoy standing naked though uncomfortable just yet due to swelling weight, it’s great to look down and see what I knew was missing finally in place. To reach down in my sleep and have to move my penis up because it’s sliding down my thigh smh all things I felt I was missing and now finally the pieces match the frame. Truly amazing to me how much different I feel in such a short time just at home in my home (skin).
So I woke up and washed up and changed my padding and reapplied ointment (triple antibiotic) along all major incision lines and my entire scrotum to guard off infection. Did a little man scaping of this graft on my leg and clipped some dry blood off. This is the skin they used to cover up my donor thigh. Looks cool and my skin is returning to its original pigment very fast, Dr Crane says I’m way ahead of the healing curve. Taking care of your body pre op really makes a difference as well as diet after while healing..
There was no events that were worth nothing. Oh wait yes I was starting to smell a bit of oder from my scrotal area. The tissue was sloughly and googie good thing tomorrow is post op appt 2. So I just cleaned and repressed wounds as I was told.
Post op appt with Crane he’s awesome so due to my living situation I was able to meet with him closest to my recovery center. He’s so freaking awesome. I’m still using the walker but it store for the balance of my legs and I’m standing alot straighter today. So crane comes up from surgery and he checks me out. He sees that I say the previous day and the oder. He likes to smell everything lol. He ask me did I feel him touching a certain spit and I sad no. So he then proceeds to start cutting open my scrotum and removing some necrotic tissue. It was totally stinky and gross looking but in turn left healthy healing tissue. However I am not having to learn open wound care. And if you have never seen an open wound it will totally freaking you the fuck out. This is why I think my photo healing book will be beneficial for thousands. So he has me packing the wound with gauze half in peroxide and half Saline water. Not too much but just enough to stay secured. He also said the sutures at the back of my scrotum had separated a little bit the gauze will fix this. He assured me this will heal fine. And seeing as though I have seen this before I’m not even worried about it at all. So after that we got me a butt donut and he limited me to out of bed only 3 times a day for ten mins.
Didn’t really do much laid around went to my favorite spot on the roof and had some medicinal time. Came down on my own and sat in the waiting room for my nurse. I’m not sure what the hell happened I went to stand up and a sharp ass pain hit me out of no where. I slightly fell back in the chair and all this brought on the worst panic attack I have ever had I’m my life. Luckily my nurse was just walking out the elevator as I was at the passout point and she snapped me back before then. It was close to med time and it came a tad bit early which sucks ass. This day was the start of the first signs of constipation as well. Took about 30 mins just to drop two hard balls of stool. Totally felt like a rabbit lol. At that point I should’ve took stool softeners but I though I was ok. Then later on it got worse I tried and tried and just couldn’t. Finally I had someone get me mag citrate and with the help of that and lidocaine literally around my anus at 1 am I was finally able to take a semi decent bowel but everything was soooooooo hard like wood. And let me tell you the day following this all hell broke loose….
Things started off normal as I would have assumed. Lost of gas in the morning I went to attempt my first bowel movement. One large hard turd came out. Then my nurse was like don’t strain so we stopped and he went to bathe me. After the shower an warm water to relax my bowels some I tried again m lots of cursing and screaming and sweating was involved and an hour of sitting for one turd again rock hard all of which had streaky blood in it. Ugh then the real pain started it got to the point nothing would come out and hold it in hurt pushing felt like razors come out my ass. I just clinched up everything ate like 4 100mg stool softeners took a pain pill and just laid my ass down. Around 1 am I finally couldn’t take it anymore and applied lidocaine to my anus and the inside waiting a moment and finally was able to pass the two last hard stools. I could see it was trying to stay getting soft but wasn’t soft enough. After that I stopped cleaned up and then got back in bed regauzed my wounds and passes out.
I spent most of the day in bed trying to eat everything that makes you poop soft; salads, prune juice, orange juice, pineapples, stool softeners, drinking a bit of magnesium citrate, and whatever else they could think of. I was definitely passing Gass but due to the pain I felt before I refused to even push. So I felt ok I got out of bed and wanted some fresh air. I let a light fart out and my life went to hell. There was stool being it and when it hit the rim of the anus it was excruciating pain. I was in here screaming and crying for 44 mins. Norcos are no freaking joke! I don’t get hoe people take these things for fun smh. My nurse finally comes in and she’s like we called Ems because with your surgery we need to know it’s not internal bleeding or something else of a larger matter. So I spent my night at Kaiser Er. Which turned into be a hidden get. The Dr found out after fighting me to do my rectum exam, it hurt and I wasn’t trying to hear this finger in my anus thing, he finally got I there. He was relieved as he didn’t feel compacted stool as he was scared he was going to have to disempact my bowels which wouldn’t damn sure hurt. He did find out that I have a nice tear in my anus from the previous stool coming out so hard. He also said because I had so much pain my subconscious will note anus muscle relax which is also adding to the pain. Like pushing a penny though a straw. So he gave me this metamucial type drink ativan to chill me the hell out so I don’t have a panic attack while I’m trying to poop. He also gave me this specially compounded nitroglycerin cream for my anus that will help relax the muscles and also heal the huge as tear. He also wants me to use lidocaine every few hours just in case I get the urge then the anus is relaxed and numbed a bit. He also did one great thing he called one of the surgeons that is on the Kaiser gender clinic team she’s training with anooshian and will actually be helping during my revision in Nov. But she wants to train under crane and bring phallos to Kaiser which is awesome as crane loves draining people on hoe to properly address out needs on and outside the surgical setting. She checked Ober ally wounds and reassured me that everything was healing fine. She said the change my phallus would die at this stage is next to none. The dying period is day 1-14 or the danger zone as we call it. She used the doppler and she was very impressed by the way things sounded. And the fact I was ass naked the entire time and he stayed body temperature pleased her as well. She said I had very great results and can not wait to see everything the day of my revision. She also said the plastics team at Kaiser will hand my scar management which is awesome as I wanted a scar trip for the base of my shaft. Thought the line is very thin I still want to nurse it a bit. And then there are large sheets and sleeves for my thighs I’m so excited to see how well it will heal. As she seen the third degree burn I had and she’s like yes you donor will heal very well. Having her talk to me last night definitely calmed down alot of my worries.
Well that’s about it I see Dr Safa this coming Tuesday to get these damn staples out my leg yayyyyyy I’ll be able to walk like a human again. I can walk short distance without my walker but I know once this comes out I’ll be walking a shit ton better and best part I get to finally freaking was my leg like normal. Then hopefully the next day I’ll be able to have this stupid catheter out. It all depends on how my wound has healed. So far it’s healing pretty damn fast almost closed over as I’m very meticulous about bathing using dial antibacterial soap and packing properly with gauze.
Well that’s all for not… I’ll continue up to update periodically…